FAQs

Why a rule of life?

Modern life squeezes men into the shape of the world around them. Limited discipleship activities are unable to break men free of this straitjacket. A rule of life does two things: it helps men form good habits while also helping them break bad habits.

What’s the big deal about habits?

Christians talk a lot about intentionality. The problem is that most of life is lived unconsciously. In other words, most of our action is driven by habit, not conscious choice. This is why habits are so important. Godly habits are a key pillar of long-term spiritual growth.

Doesn’t a focus on bodily discipline result in works-righteousness?

Paul didn’t think so (see I Cor. 9:24-27).

Why Scripture memorization?

Two reasons: First, God promises that, if we meditate on Scripture, we will be blessed (see Ps. 1). Memorization is the best way to learn how to meditate on Scripture. Second, we live in an attention economy where the largest companies on the planet are developing strategies to distract men. Now more than ever men need to learn how to focus their attention on what is true, good, and eternal. Memorization is a way to learn how to steward our attention.

Why start with memorizing Colossians 3?

Men need a blueprint of spiritual maturity. In Col. 3 we get teaching on (1) Union with Christ, (2) Putting sin to death, (3) Christian character, (4) Our roles as husband and father, and (5) Work ethic. It’s hard to think of another chapter that packs so much practical instruction into such a short space.

How important is reading, really?

Living a wise life is a lot more challenging than men realize. There are no short-cuts. In order to live well, a man must think well. Reading books are one of the most useful and convenient ways to discover truth and to learn how to think. It is shameful how many men have toned bodies but flabby intellects. Christians have no excuse for this. Paul is clear that transformation requires the renewal of our mind (Rom. 12:2). We don’t read books to be smart; we read books to be transformed.

Why are there so few spiritual routines included in the rule of life?

The biggest challenge of this program is not adding-in the good but cutting-out the bad. The assumption is that if guys begin to eliminate areas of wasted time and energy, they will discover the freedom to add-in further spiritual disciplines.

What is digital minimalism?

Digital minimalism is just a term for taking control of our digital devices. It has often been said that ‘first we make our tools, then we become them.’ This is what has happened to a lot of men. They are not in control of their smart phones; their phones are in control of them. We practice a modified form of digital minimalism in order to make sure that our lives are not being directed by modern media.

Why a set bedtime and wake-up time?

Men need to break down the false distinction between spiritual and secular life. All of life falls under the category of discipleship. A lot of guys struggle to find time with God in the morning because they stay up too late watching TV or playing video games. If men go to bed at a set time they can wake up at a set time, and for most men the early morning is the best time for prayer and Bible reading.

What if my job forces me to wake up before the wake-up time?

Great. This means you are already accustomed to a disciplined life. There will be exceptions when this rule of life does not work for men given the demands of life. But these are exceptions, not the norm. We can make exceptions for exceptional cases.

What do I do if I end up with a lot of extra time?

This is a common problem. When guys start to cut out excessive entertainment and social media, they discover new stretches of time in the morning and evening. The short answer to the question is this: start filling the empty space with significance. Invest more time in friendship; spend more time in Bible study; volunteer to serve with a church or mission project, etc. The opportunities are endless. The intention of this rule of life is not to be the be-all and end-all of discipleship, but to provide a basic skeleton upon which further meat and tissue can grow.

What Is a personal threshold?

In order to be responsible before God, a man must live with a sense of boundaries. There is nothing wrong with watching television, playing video games, having a beer, or eating ice cream. However, too much of any of these things will end up reducing a man’s capacity to serve Jesus. Setting up a personal threshold is a way of living within boundaries without falling into the ditch of legalism. For example, a man can decide that he can watch an hour of TV on week-nights, but no more. This kind of personal limit enables a man to enjoy God-given freedom without succumbing to unmeasured indulgence.

Are there any exceptions to a threshold?

Judgment is a key part of maturity. The goal of a threshold is to reinforce self-control, not to provide an inviolable law. But here is an important warning: the mind can and will rationalize anything. Therefore, men need to be careful not to violate a threshold for an insignificant reason.

Don’t thresholds eliminate God given freedom?

No, thresholds enable freedom. A threshold is like a set of training wheels on a bicycle. It is a short-term device to help men develop self-control and wisdom. The ultimate goal is for men to be able to exercise self-control without the need for additional rules. However, most men need an intermediate step between being stuck in a rut and having total freedom. A threshold provides this.

Why ask men to limit sugar, caffeine, and alcohol? Likewise, why is physical exercise a part of a discipleship program?

Again, we need to break down the distinction between the body and the soul, the spiritual and the sacred. If a man willfully chooses an unhealthy lifestyle, it will diminish his ability to follow Jesus. Going for a jog or getting a good night’s sleep can set up a man up to better focus his mind in prayer or to have more energy to invest in the needs of other people.

What is a ‘Weekly Meeting’ with God?

For most men the ACTS model of prayer (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication) doesn’t work. It’s an awkward and unnatural way of spending time in prayer. The template we use for our ‘weekly meeting’ is designed to help men situate themselves and their lives before God in a way that is focused, practical, and timely.

What if I finish praying through the template before 30 minutes is done?

Be still in the presence of God. Most of us are addicted to activity and talking. Our lifestyles afford almost no opportunity for silence, reflection, and prayer. The purpose of the ‘weekly meeting’ is not just to complete another activity but to force ourselves to be in the presence of God consciously for an extended period of time. Guys shouldn’t worry if they struggle to maintain focus or feel bored. On the one hand, men should expect this (as any addict should expect cravings). On the other, men should see this for what it is, weakness, and strive to overcome a lack of appetite for communion with God.. (Tip: If you are really struggling, an easy solution is to open the Bible and just start praying through a given passage. John’s gospel is a great place to start.)

Why fast on Fridays until 5pm? (This is part of level 2 and level 3)

Two reasons: (1) to remember Good Friday when Jesus died on the cross for our sins and (2) to get the body involved in discipleship. The goal of fasting is not to pit the spirit against the body, but to focus the entirety of our person - mind, body, and soul - on serving the Lord. Fasting is not the denial of our body, but the participation of our body in a holistic act of worship.

Can men follow this rule of life alone?

In theory, yes, but the benefits will be minimal. Guys don’t just need spiritual routines, they need spiritual relationships. Our plan for growth is not routines + discipline = growth, but routines + discipline + spiritual friendship = growth. To eliminate a key piece of the equation is to reduce the effectiveness of the program.

What should a guy do if he is excited about the program, but does not know anyone else doing it?

Do what all men do when they are excited about something. Recruit. All of us are natural salesmen. We recruit friends to causes and products that excite us. If you are excited about Cross Training, go out and use your excitement to pull in others. Guys need this. Go find other Christian men who are frustrated by their lack of spiritual growth and invite them to go on a journey with you.

What do groups do when they meet together?

They recite the verses that have been memorized; they discuss insights and applications regarding the verses; they share struggles and joys; and they pray for one another. For the 12 week program the main goal of the group meeting is accountability. The group meeting is what provides the pressure needed to maintain the rule of life and complete the assignments.

Why do guys have to sign a covenant document in order to do the program?

All of us struggle with motivation. One of the best ways to stay motivated is to feel the pressure of commitment. When a man signs his name to something, he automatically feels a sense of obligation. We want to leverage this sense of obligation to help guys - not just sign up - but finish the program.